I went to Boys' Brigade one night, as I've said I'm a volunteer or warrant officer and help them out when I can. So i turned up once more when i got back to Uni and helped out a couple weeks. But things had changed, there was unrest in the ranks!
There's one Kid who no one quite gets, he's got what they call ADHD i believe. Albeit I'm not fond of the diagnosis it describes the sort of symptoms. He's Hyper most of the time and difficult to get through to at points and has that knack of annoying the officers and leaders. From what i hear he's getting 1 to 1 teaching at school to help him out. But really, this Kid is pretty smart, incredibly creative and i liked him near immediately!
But i turned up after holidays and he had turned, not once in the first weeks i was back was he enjoying the meetings. He wouldn't get involved in games and he'd get annoyed about anything! He had been a little bit of a bully the last year, he was now getting his comeuppance, him and his brother were under fire from another set of brothers who were taking the mick. He really couldn't take it. By the time i came back his Dad was getting worried, his son came back annoyed every week, starting to despise the BB nights. His dad complained to the captain and i must admit i agreed with him.
The next week on and the boy exploded...
I'm not sure what triggered it but he got angry and stormed out into the corridor. I stood for a second and took it in, 4 officers had given up, they would have been fine if he stopped coming, that just doesn't cut it for me. One of the older boys helping out when into the breach with me out into the corridor. There the boy sat, head resting on his knees. We learn life is unfair quickly. This 9 year old was not enjoying life. I slid down onto the floor opposite him.
"What's Up?". Nothing, like he'd slammed a door and was pretending no one was home.
"I can't help unless you let me know what's wrong". I could see a feint light through the window when he murmured for me to go away. Like he was deciding whether to open the door or not. My mind considered the the next move for a few seconds.
"Everyone else is enjoying themselves, what's wrong?". The metaphoric door creaked open a crack with
'Doesn't matter'.
"Well it obviously does if you've ended up like this". Nothing the door was shut again. I sat a couple minutes, i had my head on my knees as well at this point. I sighed, then gave up. I gave the older boy who sat watching the scene a look of hopelessness as i got up and walked away...
I've learnt from CHICKS and elsewhere that that's just what happens.
People give up. The children face their problem alone. No one has the time to listen. I made it around the corner before stopping and putting my face in my hands and contemplating banging my head against the wall since it felt about the same.
I couldn't give up.
About turn, 3 paces and i was back where i had been sat down on the floor head against the wall mirrored by a 9 year old boy opposite. I got comfortable for the night. I saw that thought go through his head when i came back when he and i were both sure I'd given up, but I'd come back. A few more minutes of me taking stabs in the dark at what was wrong before
i broke through. He'd calmed down a bit when a small sniffling voice finally layed out his worries upon my shoulders. The real problem, he was in trouble at school and had been told off by school and mum and dad. Strange how things pile up on your mind whether you're 9 or 39 and when something annoys you it all just cracks.
We sat talking for a bit. We shared our woes, I can't remember quite what i said but something hit a chord. I like everyone have had my share of problems. When i was younger and now to be honest, i always believed the boys' brigade nights to be a time to forget about everything else and just have fun.
A little smile showed upon his face for a second and we got up. Regaining our composure i followed him out into the fun.
He was a 9 year old again.
The next weeks his father said nothing, his son was at peace with us again. The boy, I'll call him Martin, came to me at the start of the next weeks showing me a new toy each week that he'd brought along. Although i did have to confiscate one when i nearly stamped on the speeding toy car he fired across the room! Luckily he got over it and collected it at the end. But one week he came to show me his Pokemon cards, I'm not really a fan but indulged him by letting him tell me all about his favourites until another boy noticed and immediately started up a conversation. The start of a new friend, i snuck off as they became heavily involved in which cards were best and my challenge was completed.
It's better to share the load then try to hold it alone!
